i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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