After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
