I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize