And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
