Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
