just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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