why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
