I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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