Three words: puerto rican gang bang
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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