he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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