if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize