Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
NoShamevember. You game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize