I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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