just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
