i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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