Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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