just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
3pm strippers are depressing
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
