Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
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he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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