Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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