the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
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... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
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I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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