Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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