this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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