her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
