do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
