YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
