During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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