a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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