Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
