I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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