i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
