guys are only as good as the porn they watch
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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