I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize