i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
