Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
it hurts more in the daytime
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
