You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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