I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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