Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
