...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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