I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
