super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
