So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
organizing the empties. That sober.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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