Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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