JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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