first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
