do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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