My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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