Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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