I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
