It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.