someone threw a dead crab at me
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
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she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...