Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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