my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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