Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
