I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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