apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
