Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
