I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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