I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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