just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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