His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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