she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
