shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
